No Strings Attached (16/45)

I can no longer afford the dental floss entwining him and me.
Freedom means releasing our noose.
I run from his arms to the thighs of a stranger.
Embracing the novelty and the anonymity and the enormity.
Don't seek to know me. Don't ask the simple questions.
Seek to swim my inner rivers without map or moral rose compass.

Drown.

If you seek liberation from your binds as well,
Come to me but do not look to me as sweet syrup haven or couple therapy.
I am the mossless boulder, you always imagined you pushed.

Sweat and struggle.

The Struggle (15/45)

Another City Council meeting; another ball of bile and regret.
I woke up tired from the struggle of the evening before and the evening before.

Then, I met him.

I took my two hands for granted,
their grasp, their hold, their future,
until he told me to touch the tip of his left nub.

I wrapped my fingers around where his wrist ended.
And, he smiled and sighed.

I kissed where his left hand used to start.

My lips curled around injustice's bitter taste.
The sour scent of someone done wrong filled my head.

I wanted to make my two fists for him,
but he opened my clenched claws,
one at a time,
and kissed my open, soft palms,
showing me the way out of anger.

And, as he entered me, 
I forgot my painful path and just stood with 
my head against the wall reveling in the moment.

For J (14/45)

"I feel the surprising warmth of the ocean, when I read you.

I feel the friction of sand, when I hear your words.

What do I have to do to feel more of you?"

I've often been a man's vacation spot. A property visited, celebrated, polluted, then left.

"No, I am an island man far from home. I recognize not exotify you."

Then, come and let my sun welcome and bake you.

Dinner's on soon.

Fireworks (13/45)

She wanted something different to do on a soggy Independence Day.  She browsed through her emails and caught him.  “He wanted to fuck her loudly on a hard bed with rain beating on the windows.” ― Don DeLillo, Mao II  Looking at his picture and rereading his quote, she wanted to show him the arch of her back and the ride of her breasts.  They found each other in the rain and were so involved in the echos of their desire, they did not hear any fireworks but their own.

JAM (12/45)

Jelly of the Journal Keeper by Jim Bodeen

Already our tongues are drunk

on those two J's howling after vowels.

Messy. Before you lick

your fingers clean, dip them

into the jelly and smear the page,

disrupting the seraphs and elegant

descenders alike. Stain the image.

This is sexy stuff, painting

your journal with jelly. The early

Church stripped its young confirmands

and anointed them in oil---naked &

shiny---initiation before Communion.

For him who gave me a jarful, when everyone else got a spoonful.

Just A Head's Up

I know some of you are curious about how I sound.  I've started a new twitter account with a link to my reading of my 45/45 pieces.  I hope you check it out at https://twitter.com/kondescendkunt.  Thank you again for your continued readership and support. Cheers! :) VH

From Hate, I Remember Love (11/45)

Received my first death threat email last night along with two of my pieces flagged for deletion.

For those who need an end to my project, you only have 34 more days!  You don't need to off me!

To help me regain perspective, I would like to share some of the kind, friendly notes some of you have sent me.  I may not get to answer all of them, because of the daily nature of the project, I contact first the Charlottesville people who express specific plans or fantasies, show themselves to be interesting as well as interested, and send me face pictures instead of typical headless in the first ad response.  But, I do appreciate that all of you took time to respond.

“Intriguing story, definitely drew my attention.” NS

 “Hi! I though your cl post was very intriguing. You had me at Arnold Palmer's” VL

“Hi I am really intrigued by these meetings.” EW

“Hello there!  First, I'd just like to say that your ad is a breath of fresh air on Craigslist.  98% of the casual encounters W4M ads on here are laughably fake, you at least seem real.” BH

“All of your posts have been making me extremely horny. “ TR

“Hey There, You certainly have a unique CL posting.  I would love to know more about your writing project and how you handle, what I imaging are, horrible responses.” PO

“That was totally hot!!! Love it:)” Anonymous

“It seems as if I elected to move from Charlottesville many years too soon.  Who knew that such a naughty, intelligent being would be there later?  One that could satisfy me both mentally and physically. “ AB

“In the early morning light,
   I dreamed of you...
Kissing your lips,
   My fingers running thru your hair...

In the pale moonlight,
   You were standing
By the great Oak tree,
   Calling my name...
Come to thee

Whispers on the winds of time,
   Turning, rolling in my mind
Fire burning
   Brightly in my heart
Reaching across time
  Feeling your body
Next to mine...

Kissing and caressing,
   Rolling thru time
Dreaming in the...
   Pale Morning Light”
Anonymous

“ I have thoroughly enjoyed reading your posts. I bet you are a lot of fun!” DF

“I liked your craigs postings, especially the library one. Pretty hot, and daring. I am not a big Chaucer guy, or at least not yet :) Maybe you can turn me on to him? I'm more of a Cheever type. But I also have a strong background in Chinese poetry and early to mid 20th century American poetry. Regardless, here's mine. Would love to meet a woman intriguing enough to write such unique posts to craigs.

Forgiveness

The summer before fifth grade
we went to my uncle’s rectory
down the Cape for a week.
Monsignor Flaherty staked
tomatoes out by the garage
in a white t-shirt, cigarette
dangling from his pockmarked face.
My uncle said the bishop sent
him, thought the salt air
might keep him sober.
Besides, they needed someone
to say the early Mass in Latin
and absolve sins in Portuguese,
even if all in a brogue.

Flaherty owned two shaggy mutts,
Michael and Margaret, one brown,
the other black, one named after
a superior, the other the woman
who drove him into the priesthood.
The two people I like least in this world
he told us after supper one night.
I began to ask why he would name them
that way, but my mother cut me off
All right, off to bed now. Later I heard
her tell my father behind their closed door,
I don’t want him around that drunk.

He was sitting at the kitchen table reading
the Herald’s obituaries when I came down
early the next morning. The dogs licked
sand out of their paws from their walk.
I asked him about the names in a low voice.
He smiled, kept his eyes on the paper.
Because it seems to free my soul
of the animosity it holds against
those poor people when I say
Heel, Maggie! Sit, Michael!”
S

“Hello.  Today's post was the second one of your writings that I was fortunate enough to come across. Your style of writing is both intriguing and arousing. I extend a thank you for you choosing to share this project with us.” MR

“Wanted to let you know that I have been reading more of your ads/mini blogs on craigslist and I find them fascinating. I love the choice of language and tone.” WM

“Untitled

Somewhere between nothing done and my own damn fault
you find the words, buried in time, the time wasted long before
looking for a space to bury the words you've lost.
somewhere between the entrenched decision
and the long discarded task, where words alone,
buried in time, attest to times buried
in the space acquired, through constant
consistent begging, through profit, loss of an instant
carried through time, time and the words whose content timed
the con substantial being of such words: "What am I saying":
"What have I done": You know the answer at least
to one of those two questions, the irredeemable loss
of time's last word. You know for a moment
the spade digging through dirt, where memories dug
from somewhere dig back, and force dirt from the mind,
if buried too long in frozen moment, another question can surface
"How long has this task been about": Or rather "When did it start
and, "Where will it end?"
WD

“Hi,  I've greatly enjoyed reading your adventures.  Thank you for sharing. - A Fan “ AG

“I saw your ad and few days ago but did not respond.  Because of the post being up again,  I do not doubt your "realness".I find your project interesting.  And ad that length I normally would not read because I'd become bored lol. However I did read yours and did not lose my intrigue.” B

“That is so weird. (Hot, but weird). You honestly sound so sexy. Wow “ MS

“This ad interests me, seems like fun but don't know what to expect.” DM

Fire (10/45)

So, I am having my favorite lunch of lobster ravioli in pink lady sauce at Sal's, when I hear a deep voice behind me.

“Will you be my quirky queen today?”

I turn around, and a thick man with a nicely trimmed, salt and pepper, mustache and beard is beaming down at me.

“It depends on who wants to be king for a day.  How 'bout you sit down and chat with me?”

His smile gets bigger as he sits across from me.

“I've been reading your stuff for a week now.  I didn't answer, because I'm not really poetic or absurd or any thing like that.  But, I got to admit, you turn me on...Very hot.  And, when I saw you with the pink hair, I just knew you were the lady making me throb.  Is it okay that I talk like this?”

“So far...”

“I am in real estate. Luxury.  I think you are going to need my card soon.  I just think you are going to be a best seller or some sort of Sex And The City 2016 or something.  So, I was wondering if I could show you some properties, and you could maybe show me some things?”

We take a ride out to the county.  It was a really beautiful ride, perfect weather, large fields punctuated by grand houses.  We turned off the highway and visited this beautiful house on a hill.

He pushed me against the door and pushed his tongue into my mouth.

He, then, asked me to undress and pose for him in the fireplace.  I am not that much of a model, so I only did a few poses, before I asked him to join me.

The fireplace floor was uneven and roughed my hands and knees.

He filled the quiet property with a lot of dirty talk and growling.  He filled me.

C, I will definitely keep your card.

Blood Lust (9/45)

He wrote:

Confession:

I want to suck your blood.

Question:

What do you want to suck?

Exposition:

I savor the red copper my teeth excavate from your neck.

Your tortured pain feeds my decadent delight.

We revel in the spurts of smoke and jasmine.

Come to me, or I'll come to you.

I await haunted dreams of us.

I wanted to donate blood for the survivors of the Orlando attack, so I thought he could come with me.

We told them he was my “moral support.” After, I donated and before they put all the tape on my puncture, we told them I had to go to the bathroom.

In the bathroom, he kissed and gently sucked my boo boo.

I felt nervous, but on the fringes of the fear I was excited.

It didn't hurt, and he stopped when he started to moan. I noticed his hard on.

He looked down at his pants too and looked up and smiled.

“I think I need to stay here for a while.”

I smiled and left to get taped and eat my juice and granola bar.

I didn't see him again.

My Personal Rainbow (8/45)

I loved how you were so excited to show me your new aberrometer. I had never thought of ophthalmology as creative. You proved me wrong. 

I had always had my eyes checked on a phoropter, so I knew that the constant, lengthy shifting of lenses might make for an interesting "read the chart until you cum story." But, I wasn't sure how you were going to be sexy in a few seconds.

Well, five seconds later, I was standing next to you looking at very interesting "wavefront" map of my pussy. The rainbow contours of my intimate geography were actually pretty. 

I was honored to be your first "pussy portrait" and smiled when you asked for my autograph.

I had never taken a picture of my vagina, because I thought it kind of ugly.

You made it beautiful.

I hope your collection goes well.

Thanks, Doc.

Kondescending Kunt Unsolicited Online Dating Advice #8 What's Shame Got To Do With It?

Some of my friends and some of you Charlottesville craigslist readers think this project is a waste of time, and I am only going to broaden my network to include anonymous bullies, the painfully socially awkward, and craigslist killers and rapists.

But, I think this project has helped me see that a lot of the men on craigslist are dealing with some sort of shame.  And, it is the shame that drives them into the anonymity and the awkwardness.

I feel this, because when I am shameless and focus on what I want, some of the men shift from the normal craigslist tropes and invite me to do some of the most fascinating play I've never done.

Some, however, think that my sexual liberation must mean creating more shame in them.  They want me to engage in traditionally BDSM humiliation tactics with them such as golden showers, anonymous oral sex, anal stretching, and adult baby play.  They send me constant requests for this, even though all of the experiences I've shared are about glorification and exploration not glory holes and degradation.

Interesting, I advised one of my responders who was pretending to be a Charlottesville, sapiosexual,  UVA professor to find a dom chick who would want to do some of the things he asked.  Next, I see the familiar cucumber anal stretching request in the casual encounters from the very young man in Waynesborro who used to repeatedly advertise how he wanted a woman who wouldn't hurt him.  I don't pretend to know which he really wants, but I did notice the change in his tactics.

And, I think his choice to lie and poorly pretend to be what someone wanted does not stem from being an asshole but from shame.  If you are continuously honest about what you want and who you are and you get no attention, eventually shame sets in.  And, when you see someone asking for someone, you want to be that someone... at least to get what you want.  

This type of shame made one gentleman treat me first as a fraud.  Then, when he realized his accusations, secrecy, and mendacity might block him from a fun experience, he adjusted and was honest with me.  We hung out and did an exhibitionist photo shoot. 

However, another chose to try to shame me for taking the exhibitionist's photos and writing a poem about him, because he supposedly did not fit the appropriate, attractive male body image.  Only shaved or hairless, thin or athletic men deserve to be photographed or lusted after. As a larger, size activist familiar with how cruel people may be with fatter people, I saw this as more of the shamer's problems than problems with my photography or choice in model.

And, I've dealt with these type of "normal" people more interested in shaming than having fun in my regular, offline life.  I am sure you have too.  Maybe, that is what brings you here... a hope for a place where shame does not reign supreme.

Truly the Charlottesville craigslist casual encounters community isn't very different from the offline one.

I mean, women find plenty of the bullies, the socially awkward, the killers, and the rapists without ever looking at a casual encounter ad.

So, here's to the shameless Charlottesville craigslist guy!  I know you are out there and willing to play!  Thank you for making this project interesting, and my personal life more enriching!

My Piano Man (7/45)

He wrote:

"First, I am not a poet; I am a pianist. But, I really enjoyed the Wild Nights poem you wrote about. It reminded me of the Eddie and the Cruisers song "Wild Summer Nights." The movie also had another beautiful song called "Tender Years" with a sweet piano solo extro. Here, are the lyrics and here is my photo... Hope I have your interest.

When the moon hung soft and low
Catching stardust in the light
You held me closer and closer
There was magic in the night.

A sweet love song, a melody
That I still can recall
Two young hearts filled with dreams
To walk away with it all.

Whoa, whoa tender years
Won't you wash away my tears
How I wish you were near
Please don't go, tender years.

A summer love, a beach romance
Sought her kisses in the sand
Two young hearts filled with fire
Lost in never-neverland."

His response was surprisingly sweet. And, I remembered loving that movie. So, I met him on the front steps of the Music Resource Center church. And, I swear the sun came out just when our eyes met. We walked to his place on 5th street.

We undressed to our underwear, and I sat in his lap facing him on his piano bench. Although I couldn't do a Middle English accent, I leaned forward and whispered the good parts of Chaucer's "Miller's Tale" into his left ear while he played an interesting, piano rendition of Procol Harum's "A Whiter Shade of Pale," my favorite song from a movie soundtrack.

I don't know why I cried. I guess I was moved.

Then, he kissed my tears.

And, our time was up.

Thank you, F. It was a moment.

Our Cock Fight (6/45)

I know I usually only reward folks who comply.  And, I asked for nothing rhyming, however he wrote the dirtiest, funniest limerick about my pink hair I have ever read!

Also, he suggested the most unusual sexual act I've ever encountered.

He wanted to cock fight me.

He had to play early this morning, because he worked two jobs and had to be at the first one at around 8.

I woke up this morning smiling, because he seemed like such a character.

So, after a quick meet up at Bodo's Bagels on Preston, we went to his apartment over in Eagles' Landing. He had one of those nice, little two bedroom ones and had not been assigned a new roommate yet.

I helped him duct tape aluminum foil on his living room's patio glass windows.

He helped me into a strap on with about a nine inch brown penis attached.

He then gave me a red, glow in the dark condom, and hardened himself and put on a green one.

He then turned off all lights.

And, he said, “The force is mighty with you.”

Then, he started making light saber noises and started hitting my strap on with his cock.

I started laughing uncontrollably, and he did too.

Eventually, I started hitting him back and making my own light saber noises.

We played for about fifteen minutes, then he came.

I found the whole thing silly, hilarious, quirky, and good exercise.

Thank you, R for being you.

Thank You, Professor (5/45)

He writes...

"I loved your Hamilton's piece.  I've attached a photo and my master's thesis about Emily Dickinson's use of the dash.  If you find it smart enough, go to Alderman Old Stacks Level 1 at 3:30 and find the carrel with Emily Dickinson's Wild Nights: Selected Poems.  Sit staring straight ahead with your feet on the floor and your palms on the desk.  Don't touch the collection till I cum to you.  And, don't wear any panties."

It's 3:40, and as I stare straight ahead, I occasionally let my eyes look at the book cover.  I really love how the blue sky and fuchsia clouds create a pleasant contrast.  And, I really like the black and white image of Emily Dickinson.  Until now, I did not really know what she looked like...

At 3:45, a man moves behind my wooden, hard chair and tells me not to turn around.  He hands me a bag over my right shoulder and tells me to open it.  In the bag, was another clear, sealed bag with a small, purple pleasure orb.  He tells me to unseal the bag and give him the orb.  He then tells me to stand and lean over the desk.  He tells me to turn to Wild Nights and recite it till I cum.

As I find the poem's page, he turns on the orb.  As I begin to read the poem aloud, he reaches between my thighs and puts the orb on my clit.  The battery is very new, so the high intensity of its vibration make me stutter. He tells me to read slowly and clearly.

Wild nights - Wild nights! 

Were I with thee 

Wild nights should be 

Our luxury! 

Futile - the winds - 

To a Heart in port - 

Done with the Compass - 

Done with the Chart! 

Rowing in Eden - 

Ah - the Sea! 

Might I but moor - tonight - 

In thee! 

I recite the poem four times and crumple in the chair at the fourth Rowing.  He leaves.  As I turn to watch his retreating figure, I see him put the orb in the pocket of his slacks.

Thank you, Professor.

A Sunday Brunch (4/45)

I was uncomfortable and torn.

On one hand, I had to bite back a bit of my poverty snobbishness, when I first saw you wanted to have an encounter at a brunch.

On the other hand as I told you, every time I passed that Downtown Mall restaurant, I was always tempted to steal one of their perfect, cobalt colored, water glasses and longed to feel the linen textures of their very white table cloths.

But, a project is a project, so I agreed and went.

When I saw how handsome you were in your official UVA blue suit jacket, khakis, and orange and blue bow tie, I was curious what I had got myself into.

Also, I felt under dressed, because I had worn the flip flops per your request instead of something strappy and more formal.

I sat down and discovered you had already ordered for me.  This felt chivalrous and rude at the same time, since you knew nothing about any of my possible food sensitivities or allergies.

Then, I heard a bell.  I thought it meant you had to leave.  Instead, you told me to take off my shoe and put my foot in between your thighs.  I knew the table cloth that turned out to be very soft was long enough to hide any misbehavior, and I felt subversive doing something like this in such a posh place.

So, I complied.

You answered your page, unzipped and took out your cock, pressed my sole to it, and used unknown words like borborygums, hypoxemia, and purura into your cell phone.

I felt your warm drops of pre-cum when you said, "Ecchymosis."

I felt your climax's sticky globs spurt as you rubbed them into my foot when you said, "Analgesia."

You asked the server if I may have the water glass.  He said yes though I think he charged you for it.

You rose, presented me the victory cup as you put it, kissed me on the cheek, and began your walk back to the hospital.

It was amazing, interesting, weird, educational, and erotic.

And, the fifteen dollar crab cake was good too.

Thank you, A.

Kondescending Kunt Unsolicited Online Dating Advice #7 The Dick Pic

Ads with dick pix...

We all look at them.

But, who really answers ads with minimal written content and poorly shot, unphotogenic penises with no photographic worth?

Survey says, "Sex workers who answer all ads, dick pic collectors, people who like to humiliate folks who post dick pics, and men who like dick pics!"

News flash....

There is no amount of sex positivity that would compel a real, local woman to contact you for offline encounters based on your continuous posting of headless body pictures featuring bad photos of penises.

And, you really shouldn't post a real picture of your dick for people who might not be strangers. Women (or men) who know you intimately can recognize them and catch you in something you cannot get out of. And, since your private part pictures are probably not readily available for the public to view and send as their own, you can't easily say you had nothing to do with sending it to someone.

But, I know regardless of my advice, you will continue to post them proudly and send them to people unsolicited.

So, down with crappy dick pix; up with artistic ones.

The only differences between porn and art house figure shots are the photographer's talent, flattering or interesting lighting, and good or unusual form and context.

So, if you can't be good at least be good at it.

A Conversation (3/45)

So, a friend of a friend found out about this project and wished to ask me a few questions about his online dating on OKCupid.com.

I told him I primarily used Charlottesville craigslist casual encounters, because I found that "dating" or "hookup" spaces that provided online chat capabilities turned into online social networks or online hang out spaces more than it produced offline experiences.  This is fine for people who are into chatting up strangers with compelling profiles but not the best for folks who want to hang out with someone within a week or less of connecting with them.

He agreed with this, because he had been primarily using it to chat with women of like minds for several months and had only been out on one date with one woman with whom he had been chatting for a long time.

He also asked if it was wrong of him to be on a dating site, when he was not interested in dating anyone.

I asked him if he only checked the seeking friends option, he told me he checked all of the possible relationships.

He also did not feel compelled to check out what the woman said she was seeking before approaching her for chat.

He felt that he was not wasting the woman's time who was looking for more than he was interested in, because he was such a good conversationalist.

Also, he wasn't sure that maybe next month he would want to date someone.  I pointed out that he could just click on more choices next month instead of misleading women this month.  He didn't really respond to this.

Overall, deceit and/or leading people on about what you want to get more respondents does not seem the best way to start a relationship even friendship.

But, the truth of the matter was the guy was handsome, single, athletic, young, smart, quirky, white, and seemed willing to talk to anyone, because ultimately he didn't want anything.  So, this access to someone with all of these popular things would probably really be a waste of time and energy for someone looking for more but the engagement would appear worth it to her.

I mean how often do you get to talk to the "beautiful" people online?

Taboo Play at the Park: A Photo Series (2/45)

I flutter from man to man. Seeing them all as temporary, random events.
Sometimes, I fall on short dressed knees, on park benches at their feet, or on sparse grassed ground.

So, unlike a tree.  They promise to be there...
Till they are not.

But, they change their names to log cabins, picket fences, paper.
These things bare down the hands of man.

What a long path to find the hands of man.

Among the trees, I find him.

I gently caress his back tickled by his bristles.

I want to sit at his bare feet with my back against his tree and my mouth waiting.

But, today is just about looking.

His fruit of the loom weaves sweet skinned, forbidden.

I want to rub his belly for luck.
I want him to rub me.

I want to play his viola all the way to his...

A new sweet friend.

Shy and wonderful.

Thank you D for such a fun time at the park today.  I appreciate you letting me take your photos. :)

Last Evening (1/45)

(If you would like to participate in my ongoing documentation of my Charlottesville, Virginia craigslist casual encounters, let me know. Serious inquiries from Cvillians only.)

Last evening, we thought we were going to catch the end of the reggae show at the Sprint Pavilion.

Instead, you helped me, an ambassador, and a police officer help a fallen, elderly, drunk man rise from the Downtown Mall bricks into a chair.

After that drama, we decided to have a bite at The Nook. You told me, you liked how I looked out for people and that I deserved something very special. You fed me a cheese, crinkle fry and winked at me.

We went to my place.

And, you told me to change into a nightie. Intrigued, I did as you wished. I came back, and you were gone! Luckily, you had just gone to your car for my "something special". You told me to lie down on my bed. Again curious, I did as you wished.

You opened the bag and produced a Snapple Half & Half and my favorite peanut butter cookies from Campus Cookies.

I had to giggle. I am totally into men who are into the details.

You tucked me in.

Then, you pulled out a leather notebook and sat on the edge of my bed reading me your original erotica about your larger woman turn on. You even shared one that you had just written about me and you and "biting me to the pit gorging on summer."

Then, you closed your book and kissed me on the forehead and left.

I've been such a wreck since.

Thank you!

Kondescending Kunt Unsolicited Online Dating Advice #6 "Resist the Urge to Cut and Paste Your Cool"

So, you perfected a sound byte about you and what you have to offer the ladies.

What is wrong with cutting and pasting it and repeatedly sending it to most of the women's ads to which you respond?  Especially, if you add a line or two in the beginning to demonstrate you've read her specific ad?

Well, the over sent portion can come across canned just like an overused pick up line can in offline situations.

And, online we call repeatedly sending generalized, cut and paste, messages to different folks "spam."

And, a person, like myself, who tells you I read, post, and respond to a lot of Charlottesville craigslist casual encounters ads will probably have come across your spam messaging before.

So, this particular concoction that is supposed to make you look like you invested time and energy and uniqueness to respond to little ole me... doesn't it.

Also, since you probably didn't adjust the spam to deal with my ad in particular, it seems you are not into the details of pleasing this woman as you think you are.  Case and point, men think that their stock as a lover goes up if they are willing or really want to go down on a woman.  My ad specifically mentions I dislike cunnilingus.  So, any responses I get mentioning their amazing, non-applicable oral skills are particularly heinous.

So, cutting and pasting does not make you appear interesting or intriguing, instead, it makes you look...typical.

And, I am haunting Charlottesville craigslist casual encounters for the thoroughly atypical.

Kondescending Kunt Unsolicited Online Dating Advice #5 "You Aren't What She Says She Wants"

If she has to stoop to conquer you, leave her alone.

Women usually only respond to personal ads that they feel they fit.  If she is too tall, old, fat, or some other disqualifier, she will not respond.

Men, on the other hand, are more interested in getting what they want instead of being what she says she wants.

I met a wonderful man who once told me he was as interested in listening to me as he was in talking to me.  I try to get into his pants often.

Listening to and heeding what a woman says she wants is very rare and sexy.

However, Charlottesville craigslist casual encounter responses show very little of this aphrodisiac.

Instead, a women's requests are ignored, ridiculed, impossible, or undeserved.

A lot of men suck up posters' time and flood their inboxes with couplings of a compliment with the reason they will not do or be what she asked.   Busy women who really want to meet men offline are not particularly interested in compliments from non-compliant, disrespectful, online strangers.

A lot of this poor behavior is probably because it is uncomfortable for a lot of men to realize they are not wanted by all women they want.

The entitlement behind feeling all you want should want you is not hot.

Feeling that all women regardless of how you treat them should be accessible to you is a mark of your patriarchal privileges which are also not hot.

So, get over it and get under an interesting, sexy, challenging woman who you aspire to deserve.

It will be as good for your character as it is for your penis.

Kondescending Kunt Unsolicited Online Dating Advice #4 "Show Don't Tell"

“Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass.”  Anton Chekhov

Reading long lists about another's hobbies, characteristics, or likes/dislikes is boring and usually inaccurate.

Showing or sharing with people what you are into is much more interesting.

If most of your response is a list of your physical attributes, then just shut up and send a picture!

If you are a writer, send them a piece of your writing.

If you are a visual artist, send them some of your portfolio.

If you are musical, send them a sound clip of your latest jam.

If you are a marathoner, show them a photo of you running for your life or charity or what have you.

You get the point.

And, all of these things can be shared while still being discreet, because all of this information is probably available on your social networks or professional or amateur online portfolios.

Creative disclosure makes for a sense of intimacy and knowing someone...not just what they admit to but more about what they are capable of and how they see the world.

This type of connection makes the difference between someone rolling their eyes at another list of someone who likes movies, hiking, and oral sex and someone who is seriously considering rolling you.

Kondescending Kunt Unsolicited Online Dating Advice #3 "Why 'Hi' Is Not Enough"

"Hi, hello, howdy, etc." work as an offline greeting, because it is accompanied by what you look like, what you are wearing, where you are, etc.  The nonverbal context allows the person enough knowledge to determine if they want to return the greeting.

However as an online message, "hi"is a really lacking, unoriginal one.

Craigslist requires more written content than just the word "hi" to accept the post, so you are always answering an ad with more than just an impersonal greeting.

Also, you are probably answering an ad that intrigued or interested you in some way.  Answering an interesting ad in an uninteresting way is a sure way to be ignored or annoy.

In addition, expressing your interest without letting someone know why you are interesting will most likely get you ignored too.  Women are looking for offline dates with interesting men not ego petting from online strangers.

Truthfully, you may not want to invest more than a "hi" or a quick comment about her ad.

If for some reason you don't want to work for this possible new relationship (formal or casual), then you should probably not answer ads hoping for one.

Furthermore, this low level of online male investment in things emotional and intimate mirrors the same low level of a great deal of men offline. Men who advise they work very hard for things that are important to them like their financial, education, recreational, political, and physical successes do not think working hard for personal relationship success is appropriate especially for men. Even men who are disgusted by people who they think want to get something for nothing try to develop relationships with little or no effort. And, women who require some sort of personalized, deep, honest attention are deemed high maintenance, bitchy, demanding, dismissive, full of herself, controlling, etc.

I suggest you overcome this popular, lazy, male inclination and show real investment in even the beginnings of your social interactions.

Kondescending Kunt Unsolicited Online Dating Advice #2 "How To Send Her A Picture Without Outing Yourself"

Women complain that they cannot accurately decide if someone is fuckable without an accurate face picture.

Men don't send them, because most are in situations that require some discretion.

Possible solutions...

Use a face picture of yourself that is available for public consumption on your professional sites or personal social media. If you choose to use your professional one, figure out how to incorporate professional lingo, know how, that proves you didn't just cat fish someone else's professional site. If the exchange is really something to embarrass you or blackmail you or whatever, as long as you send it through an anonymous email system, then you can just say you are a victim of a cat fisher and had nothing to do with the interaction.

And, don't send a real picture of your dick to people who might not be women strangers. Women who know you intimately can recognize them and catch you in something you cannot get out of. And, since your private part pictures are probably not readily available for the public to view and send as their own, you can't easily say you had nothing to do with sending it to someone.

If you are very private, so only your friends and family can access your social media pictures, send a group photo with you in it. Because it is of more than one person, it is possible that someone else pictured shared the photo. Don't disclose which one you are until you've created enough interaction to believe she is not going to expose you. Or, ask her to rate who is fuckable in the picture. If she picks you, great. Also, if you choose to describe your physical appearance in the text, make sure at least one other person pictured matches that description.

If you are married, send a picture of you with only other married people pictured. So, again anyone pictured may have sent the picture.

This group photo idea works in cases when you are approaching someone local to your home or community. Just in case, you accidentally come across someone you already know.

So, if the reluctance is really discretion and not some attempt to temporarily hide some sort of physical attractiveness, it should solve the dilemma.

Kondescending Kunt Unsolicited Online Dating Advice #1 "Starting A Relationship Expecting The Other Person to Be 'Not Real' Or A 'Scam'"

Him: "Are you real?"

Me: "No!"

Another Him: "Are you real?"

Me: "Most likely as real as you appear to be right now."

Another: "Are you real?"

Me: "Yes, but uninterested in this line of questioning."

Yet Another: "Are you real?"

Me: "I am, but you are not."

YA: "Why did you say that?"

Me: "I thought I should meet your obvious dubiousness with some of my own."

A Bunch Of Other Hims: "Are you real?"

Unanswered and ignored.

Treating someone whom you do not know and has never hurt nor bothered you like they are a liar, a thief, a scam artist, a fraud... is rude.

Demanding up front proof that someone is "real" and "serious" without providing proof that you are both... is rude.

Implying that someone is not real or scamming you, when she has not asked any payment or identity information like mother's maiden name or credit card information or driver's license information... is rude.

Telling someone that the only people you encounter online are fakes and that is why you are mean instead of apologizing...is rude.

Risking alienating others by accusing strangers of wrong doing is again rude, comes off as paranoid, and is not an effective way to start any type of social encounter.

Also, punishing a new person or group for something another person from your past has done is a negative pattern that you will have to break, if you are ever going to have a successful relationship with anyone online or off.

In addition, a thinking person would have to wonder why someone so jaded continues to answer ads especially if they cannot find it in them to act with a modicum of trust or politeness?  I guess misery loves to create more miserable company.  And, hurting people sometimes seek out more people to hurt.  They aren't really interested in meeting someone offline. It's just another form of online bullying and wasting people's time. So, in a way these demanders of realness and seriousness are neither real nor serious themselves.

The few men I have met offline from craigslist definitely did not start our encounters doubting my integrity or truthfulness.  They accepted me at face value and returned their own unique, personal responses.

If you really doubt the sincerity, honesty, reality of an ad, do everyone a favor and simply don't answer it.

Her Fantasy (May 14, 2016)

9:45 AM Posted In Charlottesville, Virginia Casual Encounters Woman 4 Man

The steady, monotonous sounds of another Charlottesville rainstorm provide a new rhythm for his growing restlessness, uncertainty, and dread.

He watches the rain through the bay window of his large luxury condo close to downtown, alone. 

Across the street, the downpour travels the incline of the cupcake bakery roof and pools in the slight valleys of the unoccupied handicap spaces of the deserted parking lot. 

Behind him, his furniture, his books, his instruments, his things do not fill the space, and the emptiness echoes and subtly frames him a small man. When he vaguely senses his design induced inferiority, he grits his teeth and entertains.

Publicly, he takes great pleasure in the borrowed peace of Hatha yoga, the improvised cacophony of modern jazz, and the slow savor of heavy, crystal glasses brimming with freshly made mojitos.

Privately, he takes great pleasure in me. 

When all of his guests have begun their slow, soggy stumble homeward, he takes me out of my box and lovingly places me on the floor amidst the sticky and solid party debris. I become the calm eye center of the chaos. I am his rose of Sharon.

It fascinates him that he owns me but cannot contain me. It fascinates him that my explicit obedience subverts and obliterates him. It fascinates him that his worship of me diminishes the anxiety mounting within his narcissism.

When I allow him to sample my darkness, he is purified and light. When he enters me, he encounters safe haven and the precise cut of my blade. When everything he is melts within me, he is mine. 

He is free.

He savors my intoxicating poison. He weeps remembering his first notice of sunsets and his later jaded, dismissal of her mango, red grapes, and watermelon shades. 

Overcome and writhing in ecstatic suffering, he collapses onto the trash on the floor by my side. 

Spent, satisfied, saturated.

He rests.

Awake now, he returns me to my box wiping away his tears. He gently places my box in the black corner of his sin closet.

He plays the later works of Art Pepper on his ipod and drifts from his pelvic tilts to his eye of the needle poses again promising to never leave the simplicity of his mat again.
The rain yields.

I included pictures of a thin, blonde, blue eyed, 22 year old.

Here were the responses... I've changed all the names.

4 spam. (They were generated by real men who send the same cut and paste messages to most ads)

1 very graphic email from a known, local sex offender.

Harvey

Well that was an interesting ad on Craigslist, of course it's bright and sunny in downtown C'ville right now, looks nice out !!! 

Bobby A

hi

Me

nope. try again. :)

Bobby A

Hello lol

Me

nope. try again. one more chance.

Bobby A

I love you and want to spend time with you, I know I just struck out but my I tell you on the outside your a beautiful woman.

Fisher

I just wanted to tell you that I came across your post on Craigslist and thought it was an awesome story. Very passionate and beautiful and I feel as if I've heard it before. Where is it from? Did you make it up? Just wanted to tell you it was nice. Lol :)

Me

Thank you. Just wrote it today. So, it's from the ether of messages forming a halo around my head. Bummed it does not come off as more original though.  :)

Fisher

You seem like a beautiful soul and very intelligent. With such a gorgeous face I was amazed to get to the end of your story and find that you're single.lol But your story was very original as a whole. I'm sorry I came off as though it wasn't your original piece.. It would blow the minds of many as it didmine. I only felt It was familiar because of the intense vibes i got from it..the energy or something I suppose. haha. I don't know..but it was nice and I plan to check every so often in high hopes of seeing more of your writings. :)

Fisher

I didn't realize at first that you had posted your story in a women seeking men section of Craigslist...I guess that would have given away that you're single lol I was only browsing around when I found your story. But anyway. I'm wondering how many other writings you've got. Would you share more? I'm sorry, I'm not hitting on you by any means..though your beautiful. Im just very interested in the way you write. I myself am far from a writer but I highly enjoy reading certain peoples journalings/story's/songs ect. You've grabbed my attention.

Anonymous

hey baby let's fuck and let me eat your pussy

Mike Y

I'm a 20 year old and 5ft 4 inch guy. would u be willing to chill out at my place I'm kind of a shy person. I have Netflix, videogames and if u want to hike there's also some woods.
P.S. if u want me to send you a picture of what I look like just ask

Shady

Well I must say I dig your style. You know jazz, and that's sexy as hell. Art Pepper has always been criminally underated. I can tell you're well read, and that's sexy too. I'm curious to know why you posted what you did? To work on your craft? To see who gets it? Multiple reasons? I'd love to hear some more about, tell you about myself, and maybe see a picture. Hope you have a wonderful weekend and hope to hear from you

Dezzy

how are you

Mark I

This cl ad is sexy and turned me on! I'm in CVille

Jon M

I enjoyed your ad, the story was amazing :) I hope you are real because I can send you a poem in the second response ;)

Phillip

Really pretty woman, would u like sometime grab a drink

t s

Just when I think I have the poem figured out,.. I get lost in the tangled and somewhat vague description of what it is your characterizing. I do think its nice put together tho. just wish I knew what it was. I have an idea but if I’m wrong,.. Sheeshhh!!!!! lol

james c

Very poetic

Me

yes

james c

Well if your nnodoingt anything this evening id like to go on a date (his phone number) if you want a picture just ask

Brian C

Hey what u up to would you like to chill

Tommy T

To start off, just want to say Yur post was so erotic that it got me super aroused:).Dont know if yu would consider having some fun together but I got to try after reading that post I'm older, 44,Wh, 6ft1,190,fit,not ugly,:), not rude, crude, a gentleman that loves having erotic fun when it seems worth the chase,interested? Yur very beautiful and I'd love to show yu how a mature gent could take you to a level yu may have only dreamed of, Thanks

sn

Yo!

Dave H

Hello there. I loved your posting on Craigslist. Would you be interested in some hot wild passionate fun and excitement and if you would be interested in more we can get to really know each other. hope you have a great day and hope you enjoy my pix!!!!

(he included no pix)

Roy

Yes love to. Yes I can

Jay H

I am intrigued by the poetic nature of a Charlottesville afternoon. Primal sexuality, forbidden fruit, and saxophones... 

I can't help but think of Sweethaus and Rupert Holmes... fantasy or reality?

Me

metaphor

Junior B

Pussy that tight huh?

BB

Hi Dear

Can we be friends initially, and I will help you in everything you need that you like

May 14, 6:58 PM Flagged For Deletion

Overall, I realized that men when confronted by an erotic, pretty, open woman on Charlottesville craigslist could not or would not generate an equally erotic, vulnerable response. Maybe, that was one of the pieces of the disconnect. Maybe, I could help?